I have a little personal story to share about what happened to me last evening, with a special request - at the end:
For several days now, I have been been going through the progessive stages of a head cold that is "going around" - but with some extra features - like stuff coming from ones eyes, too. Quite the insidious virus and takes longer to get over. Some have been down from anywhere from a week to two weeks to get through it. I usually can resist these things - I take immune boosters and besides - I work in a hospital, which means longer term exposure to things, with resulting higher resistances, and the good habits of constantly washing hands (Universal Health Precautions!) Anyway, I got this thing, possibly from my wife who is several days ahead of me in the process -- and she has it a whole lot worse than I hope to ever be, with that green gunk coming up from her respiratory system. So...we've been suffering through the Thanksgiving holiday together. But yesterday (Sunday) I suffered an intense physical attack -- all evening long -- with symptoms that were "something else!"
During the afternoon I had been studying a certain curriculum and related scriptures on the theme of Healing Prayer - some very powerful and excellent teaching material which includes deliverance ministry - originating from Francis and Judith McNutt. It was loaned to me by one of my volunteer chaplains who is in the middle of this course a group at her church is going through here in Goshen (St. Mark's United Methodist.)
You may have heard of the NcNutts. They are Episcopalians themselves, but interdenominational in scope - whom my father often talked about and had connections. "Christian Healing Ministries" based in Jacksonville Florida is the name of their organization and their team includes several with doctoral degrees in their various professions of medicine, psychiatry, nursing, pastoral care, etc. They have developed this excellent team-taught course which I was carefully examining and reflecting on whether I could adapt it somehow into training I provide here at the hospital. This curriculum has three levels, with 13 sessions each, including DVDs that go along with the workbook and group process instruction -- quite solid, powerful teaching, in my view, and I really enjoyed spending some time with it this weekend while being home -- a good thing to do to get one's mind off of being sick!
Anyway, at the point late in the afternoon yesterday when I had just finished reading through their workbook for Level 2 (as I said, they have three levels), I made a decision -- and I guess I had to bear some personal consequences right away - which in retrospect only confirms to me that the decision was right! Allow me to "unpack" it more for you:
I was reflecting on these themes of healing prayer, and its implications for hospital and congregational ministry in our community, and made a strong inner decision - that this sort of training and content should be at the heart of what we are all about regarding training and the future of the chaplaincy program here at our hospital. I had a very strong inner certainty, an intuitive feeling about this being very challenging but the "right way" to go in the future, to enable our chaplain ministry team to become even more effective. I also decided that I would get in touch with the McNutts very soon to explore with them how to best incorporate some of this into the training with volunteer chaplains in a hospital setting - or find out if they had ever utilized this training in a community-based non-sectarian context like ours.
It was time to go to church (our congregation meets at 5 PM on Sundays) so I didn't call or write just then. (But I thought that likely my cold was far enough along - out of the contagious stage - that I could safely go to worship.) Besides, I could use the prayer and other good things that come from gathering. However, almost immediately after some of these these thoughts and decisions were going through my brain, some unusually strong physical symptoms set in that didn't quite fit with the "norm" for me when having a head cold (and which I was already in progress for a few days.)
(A little background: For me, it is usually it is about two days BEFORE a head cold sets in that I get one of those sinus "eyeball" headaches as a little signal that all is not right. And so I've successfully staved off many a cold by taking some special immune boosters, etc, when that comes along, that I get from our hospital's cancer center doctors. But this last time I got one anyway.)
Here now, three days into this cold I was suddenly getting a VERY intense sinus headache on both sides of my temples and behind my eyeballs like a vise being clamped down on my head -- intensity like I never had before. There was no way I could go to worship. I could not concentrate on anything, couldn't read or type (as I found when trying to distract myself by doing those things.) I took another dose of Alkaseltzer Cold Plus to make me sleepy, which it usually does - my personal first choice to deal with head cold symptoms, once I've got it. NO change after waiting a while. Then I decided, on top of all that, to take double strength sinus headache pills which were designed to counteract this, specifically. They had worked well a couple of weeks ago, within about 15 minutes. I waited a half hour for it to kick in, but it didn't - then another half hour. NO change. Then I took a shot of Nyquil (the combo of all this should knocked me right into sound sleep - early!) NO change after an hour.
Carole Anne then tried laying me down with a bag of frozen veggies on my head, wrapped in a hand towel. NO difference. So we tried the hot stuff: we microwaved a cloth bag full of herbs. No relief from this eyeball headache whatsoever, only getting worse. So after some prayer, trying to cover all the bases to address any demonic activity that might be behind all this, I was still was feeling very vulnerable and "oppressed" indeed.
I then, finally, in spite of everything I'd done already over the last couple of hours, and waiting awhile from fear of an "OD" - I took one of my wife's left over Vicodin (a powerful pain-reliever which I am very sensitive too, so I hardly ever do that, or need to, for that matter.) With that Carole Anne expected me to go to sleep soundly, and assured me of that, as it deals specifically with generalized pain and usually would "knock me out."
After another whole hour there was no change whatsever, only this "vice grip" on my head getting even MORE intense - unbelievable! I did not feel frantic, just in misery, sort of slowly writhing on the bed. But I was very aware that Carole Anne was getting fearful. She wanted to take me to the emergency room, thinking I might have manifestations of a brain tumor or something that was physically invading my head.
I said "No, first I need to call Delora or Ben." (By then, however it was 10:15 PM.)
However, at the very moment that I made the decision to call (but to call Delora Reinhardt first, since I figured it would make less distubance, in her family mileau) I immediately (within seconds) got a new, very nauseus feeling, and had to go to the bathroom to wretch a while. (Vicodin will do that to a person after about an hour, if one has an empty stomach, but I had eaten a little something, because of that issue.) However, nothing would come up - it's the first time that has ever happened in my life. I absolutely hate that feeling and can't even remember the last time I had to throw up -- it's probably been at least several years. So now I couldn't even call, but was convinced of what was wrong. I needed help--and fast.
I motioned for Carole Anne to call Delora. She took the phone and explained to Delora all that had happened, how this all got started, what I had taken, etc. (Delora is a professional nurse - in fact, a hospital supervisory nurse.) I kept my head down on my arms at the kitchen table. I was in abject misery. I felt very vulnerable - couldn't even pray effectively for myself.
Delora prayed with me over the phone - she addressed the spirit realm in case that was involved - and afterward talked with me for just a bit. I started feeling my energy come back - even while still on the phone the pain starting to receed - and within ten or 15 minutes after hanging up started feeling very sleepy. By the time I hit the bed my intense pain was almost gone. I slept through from 11 PM until about 4 am when I got up once to go to the bathroom - and realized how good I felt - that my pain was gone completely. I then went back to sleep right away and slept soundly again from then until 8:30 am.
Today, I'm still on the waning side of this head cold virus going around - but nothing resembling last night, thank God! I'm back at my office today, with a low hoarse voice, not having to blowing my nose very much and not coughing much anymore, either. I felt a GREAT deal better today, and can finally get some things done.
But I learned something profound last night. I'm vulnerable in ways I didn't realize before. Dad is gone. It could be why. His presence and constant prayers for us likely provided a protective shield that I realize now I probably only "took for granted."
My wife and I have both gotten behind on several things due to this sickness going around. I've been thinking about my aunt Miriam's who did all of Dad's typing and learned alongside of him about most of his "cases", facilitating most of the documentation side of his ministry. She is quite weak now, can't even walk upstairs, and has been suffering heart problems with arythmia, which does not go back into normal pattern, and which started as my dad was actively dying. Aunt Miriam couldn't even make it to our family's Thanksgiving gathering. She may have to face ablation therapy.
When I had my own episode like this, it reminded me just how vulnerable our family really is during this phase now that Dad is gone. Barb Tapley talked with Miriam and Mary Ellen, my two aunts, about just that and said she would come over to pray with Miriam once she comes back from Nepal. But I think our whole family could stand to be put on the prayer list of everyone who understands these dynamics, and Miriam specifically, for her healing and protection. Her problems may be totally physical, like most of Dad's were. There is the genetic factor to consider. But the timing of their manifestation really makes me wonder.
It was the timing of these manifestations last evening for me that made the problem obvious.
And I thank Delora (who got a copy of this) for her own healing prayers for me last evening, and for invoking the power and healing of Doctor Jesus in my life and being. What a remarkable relief I received - and I praise God now for this experience!
Clair
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